Girl Meets Music: A Series of Rucas One-Shots
by onceuponatime2011
Summary: A series of Rucas one-shots with music lyrics attached. I really stink at summaries. Riley/Lucas pairing only. No flames if you don't like them.
1. Let Her Go

**_A/N: I feel like the title of these one shots is pretty self-explanatory, but basically, it's going to be a series of one-shot song fics about Rucas. I have about a million songs I want to do. Some happy, some sad, some with dialogue, some just introspective. All will revolve around Riley and Lucas. I wasn't sure where to even begin with this since I've been wanting to do these one shots FOREVER, so I decided to let fate decide. I pulled up my favorite Pandora station and decided I was going to write the first one based off of the first song that started playing. Well, the first song was Passenger's "Let Her Go (Acoustic)". It's basically Lucas's POV post-Texas (I did NOT include anything about the triangle or Maya in it, so it's a little bit of an AU). Also, I did write this pretty quickly (hence the whole one-shot thing, I guess), so I'm sorry if it doesn't make much sense or has typos or anything like that. I did re-read it. I hope you guys like them._**

* * *

 _"Let Her Go"_

 _Song by: Passenger_

 _/Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go/_

' _Sister.'_ Lucas still couldn't wrap his mind around the idea. Riley Matthews. _The_ Riley Matthews saw him as a brother and wanted him to see her as a sister. Siblings? Was that what she really saw them as? She had insisted that's what they were—what they are. He tried to talk to her about it—tried to figure out where it all came from. Ever since he met Riley, he had considered her to be a lot of things…a sister certainly wasn't one of them.

 _/Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _And you let her go/_

When she tried to explain it to him, a lot of what she said made sense. She wanted him around. She didn't want to just date for a little while, and then break up. She wanted to make sure that they were always in each other's lives. He had to admit that she had a point. He wanted those exact same things. He never considered the possibility of her not being in his life. If they dated—if they broke up—there was a very real chance that their friendship wouldn't be the same. It wasn't that Lucas doubted their friendship. He just saw people all around him date, then break up, and never speak again. It was the last thing he wanted with Riley. If that meant giving up on something that never really got started, then maybe Riley was right…maybe it all was for the best.

 _/Staring at the bottom of your glass_

 _Hoping one day you'll make a dream last_

 _But dreams come slow and they go so fast/_

Lucas thought that would give him some peace—the idea of sacrificing a romantic relationship with her in order to ensure their friendship would last. After all, he wasn't lying when he told her that he wasn't sure if he would have survived in New York without her. He missed Texas so much when he first moved to New York that he had actually considered running away more than once. He missed his friends. He missed his family. He thought for sure he wouldn't meet anyone in the city that wouldn't make him miss home. Then he met her.

 _/You see her when you close your eyes_

 _Maybe one day you'll understand why_

 _Everything you touch surely dies/_

She was unlike anyone he had ever met. How can anyone accurately describe Riley Matthews? Lucas knew in an instant that she was beautiful. He quickly learned in class that she was smart and witty. He learned even quicker that she was simply one of a kind. All of those qualities were what made Riley—well, Riley—but there was something else that completely drew him in. She was kind-caring. She had the biggest heart of anyone he had ever met. She genuinely cared about people, and not just her friends. She went out of her way to give whatever money she had to homeless people on the street. She greeted everyone she met with a smile. Whenever she saw someone eating alone in the cafeteria, she would sit with them and strike up a conversation about anything and everything. She always saw the best in people. She saw the best in him. Even after she found out about his past, Riley still cared about him. The thought that she could see him as this thug who only knew how to resolve conflict with his fists really concerned him. It was why he kept his secret from her. He loved how she saw him.

 _/But you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go/_

Now she saw him differently. She didn't see him as a thug, as someone to be afraid of. Instead, she saw him as a brother. Lucas frowned at the mere thought of it. He completely understood and agreed with her reasons for why she thought their relationship had evolved into what she determined it was, but if he agreed with her reasons, why was he having such a difficult time accepting it in his heart?

 _/Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go/_

She didn't give him much room to disagree, to explain that he wasn't sure that was what they were. At first, he simply thought that maybe she just needed more time to figure out her feelings—to wait a little longer before they decided to date. Surely she knew by now how he felt about her. He was fairly certain the whole school knew how he felt. At the very least, his history class knew. He couldn't help but to glance at her every chance he got.

After she told him what they were, he felt like a wall had been put up in between them. That was one of the most unsettling things about this whole situation. Riley Matthews, who never seemed to be guarded around anyone, was shutting him out. Sure, they still talked—perhaps more than they did before, but their conversations weren't deep. They didn't talk about their beliefs or dreams. They talked about school and the weather. He thought that maybe she just needed some time to sort out everything—then they would be back to normal. It wasn't until she abruptly decided to go out with Charlie Gardner that Lucas knew that the situation he found himself in was very real.

 _/Staring at the ceiling in the dark_

 _Same old empty feeling in your heart_

 _Cause love comes slow and it goes so fast/_

Charlie was ok, Lucas figured, but he thought Riley deserved so much better. She deserved someone who knew that she loved to eat chocolate with her popcorn—not licorice. She needed to be with someone who knew that she wasn't a fan of horror movies—someone who knew that she enjoyed romantic comedies, musicals, and old black and white films. She should be with someone who knew how to make her laugh. ' _Oh, that laugh,'_ Lucas smiled at the thought of it. When Riley laughed, it seemed to be completely contagious. You couldn't help but laugh right along with her. And her smile. She deserved to be with someone who always wanted to make her smile. Riley deserved someone who would do everything to give her the world.

 _/Well you see her when you fall asleep_

 _But never to touch and never to keep_

 _Cause you loved her too much and you dived too deep/_

Lucas slowly got out of bed. It was a new day—a new world. He had to get to school. The last thing he wanted was to be late to Mr. Matthews' class. As he began to get ready, his thoughts wandered back to the brunette. If he was honest with himself, most of his thoughts lately had been about her. Something about this whole thing just wasn't right. Things hadn't been right between them ever since that night in Texas.

 _/Well you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go/_

Lucas paused as everything came crashing back to him: every look, every conversation, every unspoken moment between them. He knew exactly how he felt about Riley. Sure, she had made a good point about wanting to preserve the friendship and about not wanting to risk what they had for something that statistically would probably end before it ever really began, but that kind of logic seemed completely lost on Lucas now. You can't help how you feel about someone. Yes, he had tried to hide it—tried to move on, but here he was, weeks after the fact, and he still thought about that night in Texas far more than he should.

 _/Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _And you let her go_

 _And you let her go_

 _Well you let her go/_

He knew from the moment he saw her that there was something special about her. That spark led to a crush. At the same time, they became best friends. They talked about anything and everything. He even told her that he dreamed of becoming a veterinarian one day: a dream that he never confessed to his best friends back in Texas. She didn't pry it out of him. He willingly told her that. He told her a lot of things he wouldn't dare tell anyone else. She didn't judge him or tell him that his thoughts were stupid. She encouraged him. She helped him to believe that it didn't matter what he had done in the past—it only mattered what he was going to do in the future.

 _/Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go/_

And that's what love does, right? It's supposed to encourage you, uplift you, and make you want to be better than who you are. She had done that with him since day one. He felt his crush develop into something more all throughout their 7th grade year. It wasn't until they finally went out on a date that everything hit him like a ton of bricks: he loved her. Lucas Friar was in love with Riley Matthews.

 _/Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go/_

He told her at the time that he would never forget that moment. He wasn't lying. He knew he would always remember the moment he fell in love. He knew he would never forget the vision of her walking down those subway stairs toward him. The sight of her completely unhinged him. He had always been able to control those types of emotions around everyone—even Riley—but in that moment, someone could have knocked him over with a feather. He knew he had fallen in love with her. He knew at that moment that he would do anything for her…anything that would make her happy.

 _/Cause you only need the light when it's burning low_

 _Only miss the sun when it starts to snow_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_ /

Love at any age is scary, but even more so when you are that young. After their date, they both thought it was best that they tried to slow things down. He had the same fears she did: she didn't want to rush into anything when what they already had was so precious. As he waited, they became closer and closer—something he didn't think was possible. As their friendship developed, he realized that his romantic feelings for her were developing as well. He cherished every shy glance she threw his way, every awkward 'hey' 'hi' 'hey' that they exchanged. He thought they were well on their way to becoming an actual couple when she suddenly dropped that brother bombshell on him while they were in Texas.

 _/Only know you've been high when you're feeling low_

 _Only hate the road when you're missing home_

 _Only know you love her when you let her go_

 _And you let her go/_

As Lucas left his room, he knew what he had to do for the sake of both of them. As sure as he was of his feelings for her, he knew that she was still trying to figure out her feelings for him. It nearly killed him to do so, but he had decided to let her go—for now.


	2. Wildest Dreams

_**A/N: I've wanted to use this song for months now, but wasn't sure where or how. After seeing the preview of GMNewYears on Friday, I knew I had to do this. I do not think this is what will happen with the episode, but I did add some elements from the preview to this one shot. Hope you like it.**_

* * *

" _Wildest Dreams"_

 _Song by: Taylor Swift_

 _/He said, "Let's get out of this town,_

 _Drive out of the city, away from the crowds."_

 _I thought heaven can't help me now._

 _Nothing lasts forever, but this is gonna take me down/_

Riley felt her heart skip a beat when she heard the doorbell ring. Thanks to her intercom, she already knew who was on the other side of that door. Even then, it felt like her heart simply stopped beating when she turned the knob to open the door. Her eyes immediately landed on his. Normally that would be cause enough to make her heart stop, but the added effect of seeing her best friend by his side nearly killed her. She had to hold back tears at the mere thought of having to witness them kiss at midnight.

Her story was a complicated one, full of many twists and turns, but this seemed to be the hand that fate decided to deal all of them. She managed to give them a forced smile as she let them in the apartment. She watched in silence as he helped Maya out of her coat. Riley thought she would be ok with having them here together. She had actually begun to think that she was finally getting over Lucas Friar. As soon as his eyes met hers, Riley's knees almost completely buckled from underneath her.

 _/He's so tall and handsome as hell_

 _He's so bad but he does it so well_

 _I can see the end as it begins_

 _My one condition is/_

"Hey," he greeted.

"Hi," Riley replied automatically. An awkward silence fell over them as they both recalled that was always their 'thing'. Even after Riley informed Lucas that he was more like a brother to her, they still felt incredibly awkward around one another. ' _No'_ , Riley thought to herself, _'This was different.'_ It wasn't awkward—it was excruciatingly painful. Riley wasn't sure how to act around either of them anymore. She still hung out with her best friend as if nothing was wrong, but whenever Lucas would enter the room, she would immediately clam up or mumble some lame excuse to leave. She couldn't help it. She couldn't bear to be in the same room as him—as them. And he had found out about her party. She was stupid to think that he wouldn't find out about it. The whole class had been invited. Why did Charlie have to say anything?

Riley snapped herself out of her trance to look at Charlie. Charlie Gardner…her… _boyfriend_? It seemed strange to call him that. To be honest, Riley didn't know much about the brunette. They barely spoke to one another. They went on dates, but it was always to the movies. She didn't want to talk to him; she didn't want him to touch her. They had been dating for about a month and they hadn't even kissed. When Charlie smiled at her, Riley inwardly cringed. She knew what he wanted out of the evening. He wanted to kiss her at midnight. Charlie was nice enough, but—Riley's eyes ticked back over to where Lucas stood next to Maya—he was no Lucas Friar.

 _/Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,_

 _Staring at the sunset, babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again_

 _Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ha, wildest dreams, ah-ha./_

She managed to avoid any major awkward moments with Lucas during most of the evening. With her whole class there, she succeeded in keeping herself engaged in conversation with the other guests. Unfortunately, her uncontrollable thoughts were constantly on him. Riley glanced at her other best friend, Farkle Minkus, who simply held up two fingers to her before he brought them down to tap on his wrist—a movement which indicated that her time was running up. Riley sighed. One of her best friends was forcing her to do something she swore she would never do—confront her feelings for Lucas. More specifically, Farkle told her that she had to tell Lucas how she felt about him before midnight. She understood why he was pushing her, but at the same time, this was without a doubt the hardest thing she would have to do. She wasn't sure what was going to come out of it, if anything. The last thing in the world she wanted to do was to hurt her best friend and cause even more tension between the three of them, but she knew Farkle was right—the four of them never lied to one another. Riley wasn't sure how to go about telling him. Should she simply say 'Hey Lucas…about the brother thing…I just lied so Maya could be happy?' No. That wouldn't work. Besides, it was only half of the reason why she did what she did.

 _/I said, "No one has to know what we do, "_

 _His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room_

 _And his voice is a familiar sound,_

 _Nothing lasts forever but this is getting good now/_

The whole class had walked up to the roof of her parents' apartment building. It was inching closer to midnight. Riley was painfully aware of the time as Farkle reminded her of it about every ten minutes since ten o'clock. As she looked around at everyone, she decided she wasn't going to say anything—not now. Surely Farkle would understand. There was no way he would spill her secret at midnight to the entire class. He wouldn't risk Maya and Lucas's happiness. Couldn't he understand that was exactly what she was doing by not saying anything to Lucas? Yes, Maya and Lucas seemed a little awkward together, but didn't most couples their age? She scanned the small crowd around her once more. Most of her class was paired off. She noticed that she began to fidget as she saw Charlie Gardner walk toward her. She knew she owed him a kiss at midnight. He had been very patient with her the last month. He seemed like a sincere guy. So, then why did she feel nauseous at the mere thought of actually kissing him?

As the seconds ticked down, he inched closer and closer to her. She wasn't sure why, but she found herself watching the one couple she didn't want to see. Lucas and Maya were about twenty feet away, right at the edge of the building. They were definitely going to kiss at midnight. Riley was unsure where Lucas and Maya were at in their relationship. She had never seen them kiss (and she never talked to Maya about it), but she knew that once midnight hit, her eyes would instantly wander back over to them.

When the countdown got to five seconds, Riley knew she was getting ready to throw up. She wasn't sure if it was the idea of kissing Charlie or the thought of witnessing a kiss between Lucas and Maya that made her stomach churn. She covered her mouth with her hand. "I'm sorry, Charlie," she mumbled as she tried to quickly escape the roof.

Three seconds. Riley had three seconds to get off the roof and away from everyone. It was a horrible idea to throw a New Year's party. How stupid of her to think she could handle seeing them together? How ridiculous was it that she thought she had finally forced herself to have feelings for someone else? She tried to run as quickly as she could toward the door. She couldn't bear to watch it happen. Although she knew they were together, it would make it too real for her if she actually saw them embrace as the New Year began.

Two seconds. Time seemed to stand still for her, yet she felt like her legs couldn't move fast enough. She felt as if her whole body was made of lead as she tried to reach her freedom. She knew she would have to answer a lot of questions later about this moment. She knew she could come up with more lies to cover her tracks. She knew she was being rude to everyone, but she didn't care.

One second. She flew past Farkle and his girlfriend, Isadora Smackle. Farkle witnessed the whole exchange between Riley and Charlie. In fact, he had been watching Riley the whole night. He had kept an eye on the three of them ever since they got back from Texas. He had planned to do it anyway, but Mr. Matthews also insisted that something was going on between the three of them and that it was up to Farkle, the genius, to figure it all out. He discovered how Riley truly felt first. She was the easiest as she always wore her heart on her sleeve. Her whole demeanor had changed when they got back. She always seemed like she was on the brink of tears. She avoided Lucas like the plague, and never hung out with everyone at once. She seemed to withdraw herself from the group. It was easy for Farkle to detect her depression. He wasn't 100% sure about it all until he saw them all at Topanga's the night of Riley's first date with Charlie. After witnessing her exchange with Lucas and Charlie, Farkle knew exactly how Riley felt about both of them. Maya and Lucas were a little harder to determine, but after a thorough analysis over the last few weeks, he knew that what he suspected was the truth. He just needed the three of them to confront one another.

Midnight. Farkle saw Riley make it within five feet of the door before he shouted, "Riley still loves Lucas!"

 _/He's so tall and handsome as hell_

 _He's so bad but he does it so well_

 _And when we've had our very last kiss_

 _My last request it is/_

This wasn't happening. No. This had to all be some bad dream. This wasn't reality. Farkle wouldn't do that to her—not now, not in front of the whole class. Riley froze in her spot. She had no idea what to do. All around her fireworks were going off in the city, but she knew that none of them would compare to the fireworks she was about to experience. She slowly turned to face the small crowd behind her. Her heart leapt in her throat as she tried to think of something—anything to say to them. She ran a hand through her hair. She only knew one thing to say to try to play it off. She laughed. "Farkle…what are you talking about?"

Farkle took a step toward her. "You know exactly what I'm talking about," he said seriously. "I did the right thing. They had to know."

Riley watched as the other members of her class started to evacuate the roof. As much as they all wanted to see the drama unfold, they all knew that things would go a lot better if the group didn't have an audience. She gave Charlie a sad smile as she watched him walk past her, carrying a sleeping Auggie in his arms. Once the crowd was behind her, Riley shook her head. She couldn't look at either of them. Not now. Maybe she could just jump off the building and save everyone the trouble.

"I'm actually going to go…downstairs too," she heard her best friend say.

Riley felt her eyes water. She finally looked up at Maya. "Maya—"

"No," she put a hand up. "You and me…we need to talk." She looked back at Lucas. "But you and him…you need to talk first." She shifted her gaze to Farkle and Smackle. "Let's go, guys."

 _/Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,_

 _Staring at the sunset, babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again_

 _Even if it's just in your wildest dreams, ah-ha, wildest dreams, ah-ha./_

Riley didn't know what to do. Once she heard the roof door close, she thought for sure that she was going to pass out. So it was all out there. The feelings she had felt for years now, the feelings she had tried to hide for a month now…all of it…was out there. And he had heard every word. When he didn't say anything, Riley moved to sit on the bench. She felt like she was going to faint. After another minute of silence, she felt brave enough to look at him.

She felt herself hold her breath as her eyes met his. He seemed—angry. Angry and hurt. She swallowed. He had only ever gotten slightly mad at her once, but was quick to apologize. She had a feeling that he wasn't about to let go of his anger that easily this time. She watched as he moved to sit beside her on the bench. Riley immediately slid further down the other side. She looked away from him. Every second that passed without a word made her heart break just a little bit more.

 _/You see me in hindsight_

 _Tangled up with you all night_

 _Burning it down_

 _Someday when you leave me_

 _I bet these memories_

 _Follow you around/_

Lucas gave Riley a solid three minutes to speak—to say anything about what Farkle said. When he realized he would need to begin the conversation, he had no clue what to say to her. He was in complete shock over the whole thing. "Is it true?"

Riley took a breath. She took another one. She still didn't look at him. "You know Farkle. He's just being ridiculous."

"That's not what I asked, Riley."

She felt some of her defenses come down at the sound of her name. She always liked the way he said it. It seemed to contain a hint of a southern accent that Lucas appeared to have lost during his time in New York. He always said her name with such affection and admiration. Even then, as mad and upset as Riley knew he was, he said her name exactly how he had always said it. "I wasn't trying to ruin your night with Maya."

"That has nothing to do with this."

"It has everything to do with it," she blurted out before thinking. Realizing what she had said, she stood back up. She couldn't sit still—not right now.

Lucas stood up as well. "So, tell me what's going on? We've always been able to talk to one another. Lately, you seem to either shut down or leave whenever I'm in the same room with you. Do you hate me?"

Riley felt a few tears slide down her cheeks. She knew at that moment that she was going to have to tell him. How could she? He was her best friend's boyfriend. How could Riley just tell him how she really felt about him?

 _/You'll see me in hindsight_

 _Tangled up with you all night_

 _Burning it down_

 _Someday when you leave me_

 _I bet these memories_

 _Follow you around/_

"I don't hate you," she said softly.

"So, what is it then? I've done everything you've asked me to do, but you act like I'm the worst person in the world or something."

"You aren't," she said calmly. "I am."

Lucas frowned. "What? How could you even—"

"Because it's true," she shouted. She paused for a moment as she tried to collect her thoughts. "I—I still have feelings for you, Lucas. And I've tried to move on with Charlie and I've tried to avoid you until they went away, but they aren't going away. If anything, they're growing more and more every day. I'm at the point now where I just feel like I'm suffocating and I don't know what to do, I—"

 _/Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,_

 _Staring at the sunset, babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again_

 _Even if it's just pretend/_

His lips were on hers in an instant. Riley was completely taken aback. She expected anger—hatred even-from him. She expected him break her heart—to tell her that he didn't love her…that he loved Maya. ' _Maya.'_ Riley took a few steps back as she broke off the kiss. She looked up at Lucas in terror. What had she done? She just kissed her best friend's boyfriend. Her best friend in the whole world. She was the one who pushed Maya and Lucas together and now here she was, kissing him. She covered her mouth with her hand. She was too shocked to say a word.

"Riley," was all Lucas said.

Once Riley could compose her thoughts, she lowered her hand as tears rushed from her eyes. "I can't do this, Lucas. This isn't right. I couldn't do this to—"

"Riley," he stoically said again.

Riley shook her head. She felt like the worst person in the world. She could never understand why girls would cheat with their friends' boyfriends-or with any guy, really. It was disgusting. No guy was ever worth losing any friendship for. And here she was, doing just that with her best friend.

"Riley."

Riley saw Lucas's lips moving, but the voice she heard sounded just like her mother's. Was she crazy? Had the last month finally driven her completely insane? What was going on?

"Riley," her mother's voice called once more.

Riley's eyes flew open. Panicked, she tried to take in her surroundings. She was in her bed. She glanced at her mother who sat right in front of her. "What's going on," Riley asked her.

"You tell me. You've been asleep for most of the day, sweetheart. Are you ok? Should we cancel your party tonight?"

Riley furrowed her eyebrows, confusion evident on her face. "Party?"

Topanga nodded. "Your New Years Eve party."

' _It was all a dream_ ,' Riley realized. Everything. Farkle. Lucas. Maya. That kiss. None of it was real. She was still Riley: good friend. "I'm fine, mom."

"Are you sure? You've been sleeping a lot in the past month. Is everything ok?"

Riley wanted to tell her 'no'. She wanted to tell her mother how much she cared about Lucas—how much she wanted to be with him instead of Charlie. Her mind wandered back to Maya and how she felt when she realized she was kissing Lucas. She could never do that to her. Riley vowed to herself in that moment that she wasn't going to tell anyone how she felt. She wanted her best friend to be happy. "Everything is fine," Riley lied.

 _/Say you'll remember me standing in a nice dress,_

 _Staring at the sunset, babe_

 _Red lips and rosy cheeks_

 _Say you'll see me again_

 _Even if it's just in your (just pretend, just pretend) wildest dreams, ah-ha, in your wildest dreams, ah-ha_

 _(Even if it's just in your wildest dreams) ah-ha, in your wildest dreams, ah-ha./_


	3. Yellow

**_A/N: I just wanted to say that most of the ones I do will probably be random ones. I'm trying to challenge myself more by opening up one of my Pandora stations that I frequently listen to when writing and picking the first song that comes up. I did it with the first one in this series and then this one. Well, this one was the second song that popped up. The first song I could have done and might actually still, do but a fluffy one shot was requested, so I had to skip it. I know some of you guys have requested some songs, and I'm definitely considering them. I have a whole list of ones I want to do too, but sometimes it's just fun to have a random song pop up and then just see what happens with it._**

 ** _This one is dedicated to Sam, Lauren, and Nan. All three have been after me for awhile to post something fluffy. I do consider this to be fluff._**

 ** _Hope you all enjoy it._**

* * *

 _"Yellow"_

 _Song by: Coldplay_

 _/Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And everything you do  
Yeah they were all yellow/_

"Lucas Friar." She meant to say it in a scolding manner, but when it came out of her mouth, Riley Matthews knew her voice sounded more surprised and excited than anything else. And she was certainly shocked by the landscape in front of her. "What is all this?" She looked all around her as she stood on the rooftop of her parent's apartment building. Curious about one thing in particular, she walked over toward the canopy that she knew hadn't previously been there. Underneath it laid several blankets and pillows. A picnic basket sat off to the side. A bunch of white Christmas lights were strung up all around the otherwise dark rooftop.

 _/I came along  
I wrote a song for you  
And all the things you do  
And it was called yellow/_

"Do you like it?" He couldn't help but smile at the brunette as he watched her. Truthfully, it took Farkle and him the better part of Saturday afternoon to get everything set up. Maya even helped by keeping Riley away from the apartment building all day. The slight crisp in the October air made it the perfect evening for this.

Lucas and Riley decided to take things slow after the complete disaster that was last year. Riley was still a little unsure about taking their relationship beyond the friendship level. Lucas really couldn't blame her for her hesitation. Their friendship almost didn't survive all of the conflicted emotions of the previous year. They now knew how they felt about one another, but they still weren't quite sure what to do with those feelings. Love is difficult and complicated at any age, but they were both still so young and it all seemed to hit all of them like a truck.

 _Love._ He knew he loved her. He had known for a while, but for some reason, she didn't seem to be aware of it. If she was, she certainly didn't let on. He frequently felt the urge to confess his feelings, to tell her that even though these feelings were scary, that maybe it would all be worth it in the end. He knew that a confession such as that would go against the type of relationship that she wanted to establish with him. She insisted they take it slow or just leave it as friends. Lucas knew what he wanted. He wanted to be with her. Confessing how much he cared about her could wait. He was willing to wait however long he needed to.

He walked over to her as she continued to examine the rooftop. "Hungry? I packed some sandwiches," he gestured toward the picnic basket.

"H-How long did this take you?" Her eyes finally landed on his, a grin plastered on her face. She couldn't believe it. The rooftop, a place she had been so many times, seemed so magical in that moment. The lights created the perfect glow around them. It all seemed so surreal, like she was in a dream.

"All afternoon," he confessed. "I even convinced Farkle to help me with the technical part of the set up."

Riley furrowed her eyebrows. _What?_ "Technical part?"

Lucas chuckled at her confused expression before he shook his head. "It's for later. Do you want to eat?"

She was still skeptical and curious about what else he had planned for the evening, but she decided to drop it for now. "Sure. What did you pack?"

 _/So then I took my turn  
Oh what a thing to have done  
And it was all yellow/_

"Ok Friar," Riley smiled as she practically demolished her sandwich. She was anxious to see what he had planned for the rest of their evening. Even just a picnic on the rooftop would have been amazing for her, but the whole 'technical' thing made her brain go haywire. She had no idea what was about to happen next. "We've eaten. Now what?"

He looked down at his sandwich and laughed. He had taken approximately three bites while Riley had completely devoured her's. "You are so impatient."

"When it comes to surprises…absolutely!" She looked around them. "I just can't imagine anything better than what you've done already."

He said nothing as stood up and walked over toward the edge of the building. Curious, Riley followed him. When she saw him look up into the sky, she followed suit. "You really can't see the stars from here, can you?"

"No," Riley sighed. "That's one reason I really loved going to Texas. There were so many stars. I would never be able to count them all. And here…well…sometimes I consider myself lucky if I can find just one."

"Well," he looked down at her. "Let's change that."

 _/Your skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
You know you know I love you so  
You know I love you so/_

He turned to face her before he offered his hand to her. Riley had no idea what was going on. Had he gone completely insane? "Lucas, what are you talking about?"

He held his hand out even further. "Do you trust me?"

Riley raised an eyebrow at him. What a question! Were they getting ready to jump off the roof or something? She felt a little anxious, but she wouldn't say she was scared. She knew that no whatever what happened, he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her. Feeling playful, she pretended to think about it for a moment before she let out a giggle before she gently placed her hand in his. "Yes, of course I do."

He tried to hide his smile as he led her over to the canopy. "Just sit under here," he gently commanded. "I'll be right back."

"Ok," she said slowly as she carefully climbed under the canopy. She noticed some pillows lying on top of the blankets. She grabbed one and pulled it to her chest as she waited for him.

Lucas checked the time on his phone. ' _8:00. Perfect,'_ he thought to himself. He strolled over to the door that led back downstairs and opened it. Instantly, he found Auggie standing there with a bowl of popcorn. "Thanks Auggie," he said as he took the bowl from the seven year old.

"Just remember I've got my eyes on you." Auggie pointed his first two fingers at his eyes before he turned them to point at Lucas's eyes.

Lucas tried not to chuckle. "Yes sir." He waited until Auggie turned to walk back down the stairs before he closed the door and walked back over to Riley. He knelt down to sit beside her under the canopy. "Popcorn," he offered.

Her eyes lit up when she saw the bowl. "Yes please," she said as she took the bowl from him. She popped a few pieces in her mouth. Popcorn was one of her favorites snacks, but it was always perfect when she had some chocolate to throw in with it.

Lucas waited a moment before he pulled out a bag of plain M&Ms. "You didn't think I forgot did you?"

He never seemed to let her down. "Absolutely not." She took the bag from him and poured some of the M&Ms into the bowl. "So, why the canopy?" She picked up a few more pieces of popcorn and put them into her mouth.

"Well, that's actually the real surprise." He picked up two folded blankets from the corner. Underneath them laid a small projector. After a moment of messing with it, he was able to turn it on. Instantly the whole area was lit up with stars. Lucas looked over at Riley. "I know it's not real, but it is an actual projection of what should be in the sky right now."

Riley nearly swallowed the popcorn whole as she looked all around her. "Wow," she breathed. Everywhere she looked, she saw stars and constellations she had only seen in books. "Lucas…this is…incredible." She sat the bowl of popcorn down next to her before she moved the pillow in her lap to where the other pillows laid. She decided to lie down so she could get a better view of everything around them. "Oh my gosh," she nearly squealed when she saw a shooting star go across the top of the canopy.

Lucas moved to lie down next to her, completely amused by her fascination with the projected image. "Was that the first time you've ever seen a shooting star?"

"Mmhmm," she said as her widened eyes tried to take everything in. She felt like a child in that moment, but she couldn't help it. There was only one other time she had ever seen so many stars. Unfortunately at the time, she couldn't really enjoy them with everything that had happened, but now—even though it was just a projection—she was determined to look at every single star in their own private sky.

Lucas knew that this was a great idea. He loved seeing her happy, but to know that he was the one who put a smile on her face made him feel like he had just won the lottery. "You know what you're supposed to do when you see one, right?"

Riley frowned. Truthfully, she had no idea what she was supposed to do. Was it like mistletoe? Were they supposed to kiss? Suddenly, she couldn't bear to look at him. She wanted to take things slowly with him. She didn't want to rush anything. "Y-Yeah." She tried to sound confident, but immediately knew that her shaky voice betrayed her. "Of course. I mean who wouldn't know—"

He turned his head to face her. She seemed—nervous. What was on her mind? She seemed so happy just a few moments ago, but now it seemed like she wanted to be anywhere else than there. "You don't, do you?" Oh, what he wouldn't give to see her smile come back.

"No," she said dejectedly. She looked over at him. She was anxious, but she also knew that he knew that she wasn't ready for that. "What do you do?"

He gave her a warm smile. "You make a wish."

 _/I swam across  
I jumped across for you  
Oh what a thing to do/_

Lucas couldn't help but grin when he saw the grin form on Riley's face. Her smile was completely contagious. He couldn't be any happier with the reaction that she gave him. Seeing her smile like that was all he ever wanted. He watched in amusement as she closed her eyes to make her wish. When she opened them, he was still looking at her. "Here," he said as he offered her one of the blankets.

She happily took it as she snuggled into the pallet to watch the digital night sky. Of course Lucas wouldn't try anything. He knew her. He respected her and how she felt. She told herself right then that she wasn't going to let her practical side ruin his perfectly planned evening. She was going to enjoy this time with him. She looked back up at the stars that surrounded them. "So all of this," she waved her hand around them, "Are up there? Right now?"

Lucas nodded. "Absolutely."

"Wow," she whispered.

They fell into a silence for a few minutes as they both enjoyed watching the night sky the only way they could in the city that never sleeps.

 _/Cause you were all yellow  
I drew a line  
I drew a line for you  
Oh what a thing to do  
And it was all yellow/_

"Ok," Riley said as she broke the silence, "You have to help me here. I'm trying to find some constellations. I found The Big Dipper," she pointed up to the corner of the canopy and traced the outline of it. "But that's about it. You've had much more experience with this. Help me out."

"Well, look right above you. Do you see those three stars right there," he pointed at a line of stars right above her head. "That's Orion's belt. So if you look above them, you can see that triangle of stars. Follow them over to the right and you can see the bow. That's Orion."

Riley couldn't help but chuckle softly. All of this had to be some kind of dream. She just knew at any moment she was going to wake up and be disappointed. "I know I've said this about a hundred times already, but…wow." She looked over at him. "This is really amazing. Thank you so much…for all of this."

"You're welcome." He debated on what to say next. Part of him wanted to profess his undying love for her right then and there, but he knew that would push things a bit too far. He also wanted to lean in and kiss her. It had been almost a year and a half since the last one—their first and only kiss, but he knew the timing wasn't right yet for it. He knew she wasn't quite ready for that. Yes, they had been on a few dates within the last few months, but he wasn't in any hurry with her.

He knew from the moment he met her that there was something different about her. She wasn't quite like anyone else he had ever met. Most girls her age were more into themselves than anything else, but not Riley. Never Riley _._ She always thought of everyone else before herself. She would walk across burning coals for the sake of friendship. Her friends were like family to her. She was fiercely protective over them. She was also incredibly kind to anyone she met. If someone seemed resistant to her charm, she took it as a challenge to make them fall in love with her spirit. Of course Lucas couldn't quite understand why anyone wouldn't love Riley Matthews. What's not to love? She's perfect. Not in the 'she never does anything wrong' kind of way. _'She's just perfect for me,'_ he thought to himself. No. They decided to take things slow. And he was determined to keep that going.

 _/Your skin  
Oh yeah your skin and bones  
Turn into something beautiful  
And you know  
For you I'd bleed myself dry  
For you I'd bleed myself dry/_

They were both silent as they watched the stars shine above them, both lost in their own thoughts. Riley still couldn't believe that he did all of that for her. She knew it must have taken hours to set up, and for what? _'To make me happy,'_ she realized. They had hung out alone together a few times over the last few months. The first few times, she was nervous, just as nervous as she had been on her first date with him. After a while, her nervousness turned into anticipation. They hadn't done the same activity twice. Some times she would plan their evening, sometimes he would. Each event was a way for them to learn even more about one another. Riley enjoyed every second of every one of those dates. She found herself falling for him more and more, which equally scared her and excited her. She knew he had feelings for her just as he knew she had feelings for him, but at the same time, he was also one of her best friends. Most couples at their school dated and broke up within the same week. She didn't want that—not with him. He meant too much to her to just jump into something and risk everything.

But this night-this night was purely magical for her. She knew she still wanted to take things slow with him, but she also knew at that moment, while they gazed at the electronic atmosphere above them, that she was definitely, hopelessly in love with him.

 _/It's true  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine for you  
Look how they shine/_

Lucas felt his palms become sweaty and clammy. He knew they weren't ready to kiss, but he really just wanted to hold her hand as they looked up at the digital sky. Even though he knew Riley had feelings for him, he still felt nervous to attempt to make even a small move on her. He was fairly certain their one-on-one hangouts recently had been dates, but what if they hadn't? What if throughout this whole thing Riley simply thought they were hanging out as friends? What if her feelings for him had changed? Granted they all had been through some pretty emotional things last year, but she was still a 14-year-old girl. She could change her mind about the whole thing in a split second. That thought suddenly made him nauseous.

Just as he decided against holding her hand, he felt her fingers brush up against his. He laid there completely frozen, as her hand slowly made it's way closer to his. He heard her take a deep breath before she finally interlaced her fingers with his. He glanced over at her at the same time she glanced back at him. "Is…this ok," she asked tentatively.

He couldn't help but smile. Ok? It was more than ok. It was perfect. "Absolutely," he answered before turning to look back up at the stars. He mentally berated himself. How dare he think that Riley was just a 14-year-old girl! She was so much more than that. Even though she had her quirks, her maturity level went well past her age. After all, had they not spent the better part of the last year and a half waiting for the right moment to begin dating? Surely those kinds of feelings didn't just disappear overnight.

Lucas let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Tonight wasn't the night to dissect their relationship. They were Riley Matthews and Lucas Friar. He knew how he felt about her. He knew that they were taking the right steps in order to build something that would last longer that just a few weeks or months. And for now, he couldn't imagine anything better than to just lie beside her and hold her hand underneath a perfect blanket of stars.

 _/Look at the stars  
Look how they shine for you  
And all the things that you do/_


	4. Sweetest Devotion

**_A/N: Stupid formatting._**

 _"Sweetest Devotion"_

 _Song by: Adele_

 _/With your loving_

 _There ain't nothing_

 _That I can't adore_

 _The way I'm running with you honey_

 _Means we can break every law/_

' _What's your partner's favorite movie snack?'_

' _When something funny happens and she thinks she's laughed too hard, she looks around the theatre to see if anybody heard her. And if she thinks something scary is gonna happen, she reaches out and grabs your arm—"_

'— _and she doesn't even know she did.'_

One year.

Riley couldn't believe it. It had been one year since that awful New Year's Eve party. One year since Farkle told the whole class how she really felt about Lucas. One year since Maya, Lucas, and herself found themselves sitting together on a bench at midnight. Luckily for all of them, that saying about how you spend New Year's Eve dictates how you spend the next year wasn't proven to be true.

She looked around her crowded living room as she saw most of her classmates paired off once again. So much had changed in the past year. A few of the couples from last year remained, but so many more broke up and were now with individuals from other former couples. She tried not to think about that too much. That was _them_. She was different. _They_ were different.

When she thought back to last year's party, Riley felt awful about how everything came out. She never wanted to be the reason that Lucas and Maya didn't explore their feelings for one another. The one thing she never considered at the time was the fact that her failure to be honest with them only created more confusion. After Farkle's declaration, it only took Maya a few weeks to realize where her true feelings rested: with a certain uncle who was now attending a certain college in the city.

Next came a very tough conversation between Riley and Lucas that ended with them both acknowledging their feelings for one another, but making the painful decision to remain friends for the time being. They decided that if they still felt that connection with one another when they started high school, they would explore those feelings further.

As they both expected, when they began high school, those feelings were not only still there, but had grown exponentially stronger.

 _/I find it funny that you're the only_

 _One I never looked for_

 _There is something in your loving_

 _That tears down my walls/_

Three months into going out on dates, and Riley wasn't sure what they were to one another anymore. They never established whatever it was that they were doing. Were they boyfriend and girlfriend now? Were they just moving at an incredibly slow pace as to not ruin their beautiful friendship?

Those questions led a frustrated Riley to host another New Year's Eve party. Like it or not, she knew her best chance of gauging how Lucas truly felt about her would be to get everyone together once more. Maybe she could somehow get him on the roof alone to try to determine what their relationship status was? The thought had occurred to her that maybe he just wanted to keep it simple for a while longer. Either way, she wanted him to be honest with her. And if there was one thing she learned from the shenanigans of last year, it was that she needed to be completely honest with him: even though it scared her to the core to do so.

 _/I weren't ready then_

 _I'm ready now_

 _I'm heading straight for you_

 _You will only be eternally_

 _The one that I belong to/_

She darted toward the door after she heard a soft knock, expecting to see the object of her affection on the other side. She had to admit while she was slightly disappointed it wasn't him, she was excited to see who it was. "Uncle Josh," she squealed as she practically jumped in his arms to give him a hug.

Joshua Matthews just laughed as he wrapped his arms around his niece. "Now that's a greeting." Once she jumped down from his arms, he looked around. "Wow, Riley. There are a lot of people here."

She nodded. "Yeah, it's most of the same people who were here last year. I'm so glad you were able to make it."

"Oh, you know I couldn't miss it two years in a row."

"Hey, Riley, your mom wants you to help pick out some music," Maya said as she walked up to the pair. She looked behind her best friend at Josh. "Josh…hey."

He smiled warmly at the blonde. "Hey Maya."

Riley looked between the two as a half smile played on her lips. "Music. Got it." She practically skipped over to where her parents stood around their stereo. She wanted to give Maya plenty of opportunity to speak with her uncle.

 _/The sweetest devotion_

 _Hit me like an explosion_

 _All of my life I've been frozen_

 _The sweetest devotion I know/_

Riley heard the door knock, but found herself knee deep in her parents' CD collection. "Dad, I don't even know who half of these people are," she complained as she heard the front door open. "Look, I trust you're…well, I trust mom's judgment. You guys handle the music." She turned to greet whoever walked in, but she paused when she saw who it was.

Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear as she watched him walk toward her. She still felt slightly nervous whenever she first saw him. She blamed it on those ridiculous butterflies that seemed to flutter around her stomach whenever she saw him. "Hi," she smiled.

"Hey," he replied as he smiled at their familiar exchange.

"I can take your coat," she said as she reached for the garment that laid across his arms.

"Thanks."

Their fingers brushed together slightly as Riley grabbed his coat. Riley couldn't help but feel her cheeks blush at the exchange. She mumbled, "I'll be right back," before she retreated to the safety of her parent's bedroom.

Riley tried to steady her nerves as she laid Lucas's coat across her parent's bed with everyone else's jackets. How was she going to suggest they become more than friends if she couldn't even handle a simple conversation with him without those darn butterflies distracting her. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," she sighed to herself. She turned to look in her parent's dresser mirror as she studied her reflection for a moment. "No. You have to do this. You know how you feel." And boy did she ever. She had run from those feelings for so long—too long-but she was ready. One look from him, and she was reminded of what she had always wanted, and was now, finally, ready for.

But was he?

 _/I'll forever be whatever_

 _You want me to be_

 _I'd go under and all over_

 _For your clarity/_

"Not again," Riley complained when she walked back into the living room and saw 'The Couple's Game' on the coffee table. "Have we learned nothing from last time?"

"We never finished the game last year," Farkle told her as he put an arm around Smackle's shoulder. "I think we were winning."

"Well, Lucas and Maya decided to eat two of the cards, so the game isn't really intact anymore," Smackle added. "But yes, we're ready to beat you."

"So, who's playing?" Riley moved to sit on the couch next to Smackle and Farkle. She figured that it was no use complaining about the game. Besides, things certainly were a little different this time around.

"We were thinking Farkle and Smackle, Yogi and me, and you and Lucas," Darby suggested as she kneeled down at the end of the coffee table, Yogi taking a seat next to her.

Riley looked up at Lucas. "Do you want to?"

He gave her a smile as he sat next to her on the couch. "Sure."

"We'll go first," Smackle told everyone, "because we're winning." She leaned forward and grabbed a card. "What is your partner's idea of a romantic date?" She looked at Farkle for a moment before she smiled. "Farkle loves to take me to the planetarium, and who can blame him? Looking up at all of those stars is so romantic." She sighed happily as she looked at her boyfriend of almost a year and a half.

"Smackle loves going to college debate matches."

"Correct dearest," she smiled. She noticed all of the confused faces around her. "Watching people debate political issues always gets me excited and I—"

"Woah, woah, woah," Riley interrupted as she waved her hand to silence the brunette. "I…think we get it, Smackle." She shuddered. Smackle was pretty blunt about everything. Riley sensed that no matter how Smackle ended that sentence, it would be way too much information for any of them to handle. She looked at Lucas. "We'll go next." She leaned forward to grab a card. "Where…" she shook her head. Was this really happening again? Riley was fully convinced that this game had some sort of sixth sense about her teenage turmoil. "Where do you see yourself and your partner in ten years?"

"Well, I think Riley's going to be a counselor or even on the path of becoming our next president," Lucas replied without hesitation.

Confused, Riley turned to face him. "Why?"

"Because you have this gift of helping people. I think you'd be a perfect counselor. And the political thing…I honestly can't imagine anyone better running the country than you."

Riley turned her head back to the table as she felt a blush creep up on her cheeks. _'He thinks I could run the whole country? And that I would be good at it?'_ She cleared her throat. "Um...Lucas will be a veterinarian in ten years."

"Our turn," Darby said enthusiastically as she grabbed a card. "What's one thing you think your partner would change about you?" She frowned and turned to Yogi. "Hmm…I think Yogi would make me shorter than he is."

"Wrong," Yogi laughed.

Darby put her hands on her hips. Her eyes narrowed at him. "What would you change then?"

Yogi looked around at everyone. After seeing a few of them shake their heads to signal for him to not answer, he turned to Darby and grinned. "Uhh…nothing! I wouldn't change a thing."

The whole group laughed at the pair. "Ok, we'll just go again," Farkle told everyone as he grabbed a card. "What makes your partner happy?" He sat the card down. "Easy. The chem lab at school."

Riley raised her eyebrows. "Do we even want to—"

"No," Farkle said as he shook his head.

"Ok," Lucas said slowly. "I can't believe I'm about to ask this. Smackle, what's Farkle's—"

"Oh, it's definitely the chem lab."

Riley shuddered. "Wow."

"On that note, I think it's our turn," Lucas told the group as he reached for the next card. "Have you ever kept a secret from someone you love?"

Riley's eyes widened. "Game over," she declared as she stood up. She was convinced at that moment that the entire game was rigged just to make her confront her feelings.

"I feel like I'm having déjà vu," Smackle said as she turned to face Farkle. "Am I wrong?"

"No, this happened last year too," Farkle told her. "Except this time, I have no idea what's going on."

"Nothing," Riley lied. "It's just getting close to midnight." She walked over to the door to grab her coat. She said nothing more as she left the apartment.

Farkle looked at his watch. "It's only 11."

Lucas noticed Maya start to walk to the door. "Hey," he said as he stopped her. "I've got this one."

"You sure?"

He nodded before he walked out of the room to get his coat.

 _/When you wonder_

 _If I'm gonna lose my way home just remember_

 _That come whatever I'll be yours all along/_

Riley shivered as she stood by herself on the roof. She knew she had once again made herself look like a complete jerk. "Maybe I should've just eaten the card," she mumbled to herself as she began to pace. She stopped mid stride when she saw the door open. She wasn't surprised to see Lucas. She was surprised to see that he was the only one. "Where's everyone else?"

"Waiting for it to be a little closer to midnight. It's only a little after 11."

"Oh," she looked down as she tried to come up with some sort of excuse for her behavior. "Man, I really need to get a new battery for my watch."

Lucas tried to stifle a chuckle. "Riley, you aren't wearing a watch."

Riley looked down at her wrist as she tried to come up with another excuse. "See, I knew there was a reason I couldn't keep up with the time," she breezed past him to get to the door. "I need to get a watch. Thanks, Lucas."

"Riley," he said seriously.

She stopped walking, but didn't turn around. She knew she needed to talk to him about this, but the pressure was just as bad, if not worse, than the pressure that she faced last year.

"Is…something going on," Lucas asked her.

Riley finally turned around to face him. "I…It's just that…ok…yeah. Something's going on, Lucas, and…and I…don't know…how to bring it up to you."

"Well, I'm here. You can say anything to me." He took a few steps closer to her. When she didn't respond, Lucas realized that whatever secret she was hiding, it was something big. "Riley, we've always been able to talk to each other. Talk to me. Please."

 _/I weren't ready then_

 _I'm ready now_

 _I'm heading straight for you_

 _You will only be eternally_

 _The one that I belong to/_

Riley began to fidget with her hands. She closed her eyes. This was going to be a lot better if she just blurted it all out to him. "Lucas…what are we?"

Lucas frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…we've been going out on dates for the last three months and I just…we haven't…you know…had that conversation and…I feel like…it's been three months, you know…and that we should just…figure it out."

"Is that what's been going on?"

She nodded.

He took a few more steps closer to her. When she didn't look up at him, he tilted her chin up with his hand. "What do you want us to be?"

Her eyes finally met his. "What do you want us to be?"

He chuckled. "We aren't getting very far, are we?"

Riley took a step back from him. "It's because we're at a crossroads. Our first real one." She turned to walk toward the opposite side of the building to get a little space from him. The closer she was to him, the more clouded her thoughts became. She just need some space to say what she had to say before she completely lost her nerve. "You know, up until now, either one of us could've said 'You know, I think we should just be friends', and it would've been ok. Our friendship, in the long run, wouldn't have suffered for it." She looked up at the sky. "But now, things are changing. It's reaching that point that if we don't turn back now, there is no turning back."

Lucas slowly walked to stand beside her. He looked up at the starless sky for a moment before he looked at her profile. "Is that what you want? To turn back?"

Riley shook her head as she closed her eyes once more. "No. That's just it, Lucas." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't want to just be friends with you."

"Riley, we were never just friends."

Riley threw her arms up in frustration. "So, what are we?" She turned to face him. "The only reason I threw this party was to try to find some way to figure it all out…what we should do, what the right decision is."

"And have you figured that out?"

"I know what I think is right. I just…"

"You just…"

"I don't know how you feel. You act so calm and cool around me and I can't tell if that's just you or if you only see this as something to pass the time until something better comes along."

"Wait a minute." He reached his arms out to place them on her shoulders. "Riley, look at me."

She didn't want to. She felt as if her knees would buckle if she looked at him. She waited almost a full minute before her eyes reached his.

"Riley Matthews, never have I nor ever will I just 'pass the time' with you." He lifted his hand to lightly stroke her cold cheek. "I want us to be more. I've wanted that for a long time now. The last thing I want is to pressure you into something you aren't ready for yet. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend than lose you completely because I pushed you too hard."

Riley's breath hitched in her throat. She wasn't sure if it was what he said or the feeling of his hand on her cheek. "More…how," she whispered.

"Riley Matthews, will you be my girlfriend?"

 _/The sweetest devotion_

 _Hit me like an explosion_

 _All of my life I've been frozen_

 _The sweetest devotion I know/_

Riley was surprised that her legs were able to hold her up. She hadn't considered this scenario. Truthfully, the only one she pondered was the scenario where he told her that he just considered them to be friends. She had to make sure she wasn't hallucinating before she answered him. "What?"

"Riley, I've completely fallen for you."

Riley still couldn't allow herself to believe what was going on. She shook her head. She must have missed something. "What?"

Lucas took a deep breath. "I wasn't planning on doing this here…now…but I guess it's as good of a time as any. After all, it is New Year's Eve, and you know what Farkle likes to say."

Her head was spinning. She felt light-headed and dizzy. "What? What does that have to do with—"

"Riley, just…let me finish." He moved his hands to hold hers. "Riley, two and a half years ago, we met. And my life hasn't been the same since. We've been through so much. We've grown together…we've grown closer and closer. We've been through more than most people our age, and we've not only survived it, I feel like it's made us better…together. I feel like we're more than just the boyfriend and girlfriend labels. And honestly, it scares me because we're so young. I don't want to mess this up. I don't want to pressure you, but…Riley I can't keep this in anymore…I love you…I'm in love with you."

 _/I've been looking for you baby_

 _In every face that I've ever known_

 _And there is something about the way you love me_

 _That finally feels like home/_

She was listening. She swore she heard every word come from his lips, but she couldn't believe it. Was this really happening? It felt like a few of those pesky butterflies had suddenly slammed into her ribcage. "Lucas…"

"I know, I know. It's too much all at once. I-I'm sorry, Riley, I—"

Riley didn't give him an opportunity to finish his statement as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to her's in a sweet kiss.

It started innocent enough, and Lucas had every intention of keeping it that way, but when she parted her lips to deepen their kiss, he found himself wrapping his arms around her in order to get just a little closer to the girl who had completely stolen his heart.

Fireworks went off in Riley's brain as she kissed Lucas. Yes, they had kissed a few times over the last few years, but this was so much more than all of the rest. Riley spent far too much time worrying over every single one of them, but this one…this one was different. It was spontaneous. She didn't have time to think about it. She just allowed herself to feel—to be completely swept away. She had no concept of time or space as she held on to him. It wasn't until she heard someone clear their throat from behind her that she even remembered that she was on the rooftop of her parents' apartment building.

"Y-You know you're supposed to do that at midnight, right?" Maya called over to them.

Riley and Lucas both found themselves laughing as they turned and saw their whole class watching them. "How long have—"

"Oh, long enough," Maya laughed at her best friend. "It's only a few minutes til midnight."

Riley and Lucas nodded as they both chose to look up at the sky and not at the group of giggling teenagers.

 _/You're my light you're my darkness_

 _You're the right kind of madness_

 _You're my hope you're my despair_

 _You're my scope of everything everywhere/_

As the group began the countdown to the New Year, Lucas's hand found Riley's once more. Riley looked down from her view of the sky to look at their intertwined fingers. As the seconds ticked on, she knew exactly how she wanted to ring in the New Year. She studied his face as everyone counted down the final seconds. When she heard everyone cheer around her, she stood on her tiptoes to whisper in Lucas's ear. "I love you too."

Lucas spun to face her, shock evident on his face. "Are you sure?" His eyes searched hers as he looked for any sign of doubt from her, any indication that she was simply saying it to please him. He couldn't find one sign of anything that indicated she wasn't being completely honest and sincere in her declaration.

Riley nodded. "And…I'd love to be your girlfriend."

Lucas grinned as he scooped her up in his arms and spun her around. They both laughed as the whole rooftop was too engaged in their own New Year's celebrations to notice their display. Lucas slowly lowered her back to the ground as their lips met once more.

 _/The sweetest devotion_

 _Hit me like an explosion_

 _All of my life I've been frozen_

 _The sweetest devotion I know/_

If New Year's was any indication of how Lucas and Riley were going to spend the next year, they were in for their best year yet.

 _/The sweetest_

 _It's the sweetest/_


	5. Clean

_"Clean"_

 _by Taylor Swift_

 _-The drought was the very worst, ah ah  
When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst-_

He left.

She knew that this day was inevitable. She knew it the moment he told her he had applied to go to Texas A & M. He was unsure if he would even get in, but she was. He was one of the smartest people in their class. He had worked his butt off the last four years to get the best grades possible in order to get accepted into one of the best schools in the country. The added perk of it being in his hometown almost sealed the deal right on the spot. Except for one thing.

She would be going to school at NYU with the rest of their friends.

He didn't want to leave her—leave them, but she knew that he had to. He had every right to chase his dreams as they did. It just meant that they would be on different paths.

They were both scared about what it meant, for them, for their future—if they had one together. They had been dating for a little over three years when he left. She was confident that they would be able to handle the distance, no problem. Their relationship had already been tested countless times, even before they became an actual couple.

 _-It was months, and months of back and forth, ah ah  
You're still all over me like a wine-stained dress I can't wear anymore-_

School started and they both became busy with everything that surrounded them. She got involved with the school theatre, while he juggled working on his grandfather's farm and tackling a heavy course load. The time change between them didn't help as he always called her too late and he was always in class or studying in the library when she had a chance to call.

Their calls got fewer and fewer, and soon their text messages slowed as well. Neither knew what to say to the other anymore. Conversations that once came with ease were now awkward—forced even. She found herself avoiding him after awhile, because she knew what was now inevitable between them.

As much love as they had for one another, would always have for one another, they both knew that they weren't in each other's lives anymore and it was causing them both more harm than good.

 _-Hung my head, as I lost the war, and the sky turned black like a perfect storm-_

She stayed in bed for a week solid after that horrific phone call. They both cried. They begged one another at different parts of their three hour-long conversation to not let go. They both swore their unending love for one another. They both swore up and down that they needed one another and that this was just a temporary setback—a test. They both thought that once they could handle the stresses of their new schedules, they would find some way to be together, to make all of this work.

That time never came.

 _-Rain came pouring down when I was drowning  
That's when I could finally breathe  
And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean-_

Years passed.

She knew he still kept in constant contact with the others. It bothered her that they only texted one another sporadically, but she knew that if they were meant to be together, then they would be together—one day.

Soon after graduation, she overheard a conversation between her friends about him. She didn't mean to eavesdrop, but she was curious. How was he? Did he get into the veterinary program? How was his family? Unfortunately, she only discovered one piece of information: he was dating someone else.

She wanted to ask about the girl who had inadvertently taken away her first love, and any chance at rekindling the flame that had never seemed to burn out (on her end at least), but she didn't. It was easier to pretend that this mystery woman didn't exist. It was easier to tell herself that whatever was going on between them was temporary. It was just a casual relationship, nothing that would ever become anything too serious. After all, she knew how the story would end: they would meet again someday and all of the sparks and all of the feelings would return. They would pick up exactly where they left off and it would be as if no time had passed between them.

Right?

It couldn't possibly end any other way. She knew that they were meant to be. The stars had aligned perfectly for them when they were in the same city together. Their only issue had been distance. It was an issue that they tackled with incredible maturity. They wanted to preserve themselves (and their potential future), so they decided to pause everything until they were able to get back together again.

They had loved one another with everything in them.

There was no way that this was serious.

He wouldn't do that to her.

He wouldn't just move on.

 _-There was nothing left to do, ah ah  
When the butterflies turned to dust, they covered my whole room-_

When she heard the rumors about their engagement two years later, she refused to believe it.

When her best friend officially broke the news to her, it felt like she had been dropped right into the middle of a nightmare. There was no way that this was true. Did everyone around her just forget what they had once meant to one another? Who they were? What they had already accomplished just so they could be with one another? No one seemed shocked or appalled by the news. They all seemed—happy for the couple.

No. She must have heard incorrectly. He couldn't be engaged to someone else. He wouldn't do that. They were waiting for one another. They were going to be together.

 _-So I punched a hole in the roof, ah ah  
Let the flood carry away all my pictures of you-_

The day she received the wedding invitation, she actually fainted.

Was this all some sort of sick joke? It was impossible. Who was this mystery girl? Why was she the one that he chose to spend the rest of his life with while the perfect girl was already waiting for him back in New York? How could he so easily throw her over for someone else? Had three years of dating (and several more years of friendship) meant nothing to him? They were best friends. They were each other's first everything. They swore that they wouldn't let anything come in between them, especially something as trivial as distance.

Granted they had barely communicated at all in the last five years, but that was beside the point. They promised one another they would wait.

She was his princess.

He was her hero.

The hero was supposed to end up with the princess. That's how the fairytale should end.

 _-The water filled my lungs, I screamed so loud but no one heard a thing-_

She spent the entire weekend pouring over old photos, old mementos—everything that reminded her of him and what they once meant to one another. So many memories, so much laughter, so much love, all so long ago.

It was then that she began to realize that she wasn't the same person she was back then.

Growing up had hardened her, being away from him changed her, having to stand on her own two feet had transformed her into the independent woman she always wanted to be (not like he ever held her back from any of those things). She was different now. She wasn't a senior in high school anymore.

She was a college graduate. She was a drama teacher now. She was grown up.

As she reminisced about her history with him, she realized that since they had only communicated with one another sporadically, she didn't really know who he was anymore either. He could be completely different.

One thing she did know was that his biggest dream had remained the same.

He had called to tell her that he got into the vet program at Texas A & M and also to talk about the invitation that she had received the previous week. He wasn't sure how to tell her about the wedding. He just knew that he wanted her to be there. He told her that she had always been the biggest influence in his life. He wouldn't be who he was today without her help, without her support. He wanted to see her, to talk to her in person for the first time since he left New York all those years ago.

For some sick reason, she agreed to attend the wedding.

 _-Rain came pouring down when I was drowning  
That's when I could finally breathe  
And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean-_

It was a cloudy day. The sky was insanely dark as she and her best friend walked toward the church. The wedding was in New York because, ironically, the bride and her family were from the city. None of their friends knew her. She had gone to a different school than the rest of them, and New York was one of the biggest cities in the world, it made sense why none of them knew her.

As they were escorted to their seats, she clung onto her best friend for dear life. She was scared. The last time she saw him was when he left for school—back when they were still together. She was scared that everything she had felt for him would come rushing back to her when she saw him. She was scared of those feelings because she knew she would never be able to act on them. She looked over at her best friend. Maybe coming was a mistake. She was never able to say _'no'_ to him though.

Maybe that's where they went wrong?

Maybe if she had told him to stay with her, that they would be swearing their eternal devotion to one another on this day?

As the church doors opened, she turned her head.

That's when she saw him.

He looked just as she remembered him. Six years had aged him a little, but not a lot. He still looked like the guy she had loved for most of her teenage years. He seemed a little more hardened, a little more serious than she remembered. She figured that it had to be due to the seriousness of the day and the nature of what he was doing with his life now.

As she watched the bride enter, she couldn't help but think about how different this girl seemed from herself. She was blonde, tall, tanned, and seemed every bit as serious as he now appeared. She didn't want to make any snap judgments about the woman she had never met, but as she saw them stand together at the altar, she realized that although she would always wonder _'what if'_ whenever she thought about him, she knew that they had broken up for all of the right reasons.

 _-I think I am finally clean, ah  
Said, I think I am finally clean, ah-_

They had sacrificed a romantic future with one another to try to preserve a potential lifelong friendship.

As she watched them commit the rest of their lives to one another, everything seemed to click into place. They had fought so much those last several months they were together. They had avoided one another's phone calls toward the end. They had both felt incredibly weighed down by their commitment to one another.

Though they hadn't spoken much to one another in the last several years, she realized why they decided to end it. Their friendship. At the core of everything else, they had been friends—best friends.

Yes, they had to take a lot of time to figure out themselves apart from one another, but one day—one dreary May day—they were finally able to be there for one another as they had been ever since they were kids—ever since she fell onto his lap in the subway.

 _-Ten months sober, I must admit  
Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it-_

At the reception, she held back from speaking to the newlyweds. She felt all eyes on her every time she stood to approach them. This seemed too public, too much pressure to be informal. She watched as they danced their first dance as husband and wife, and felt a slight pang when he dipped her at the end of it.

That could have been them.

They could've been laughing during the whole awkward dance. They could've made it uniquely them—as their entire relationship had been. He had asked her father permission to go on a date with her. She was the one to initiate their first kiss. He randomly professed his love for her when she tried to walk away from their feelings for one another—too scared to risk their friendship for something more.

Three years. Three beautiful years together. Now it didn't seem like a long time, but back then, it felt like forever.

As she watched them cut the cake, she let out a deep breath. She was glad she came. She was glad that she saw him.

 _-Ten months older I won't give in  
Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it-_

She decided not to speak to him—her one wish was for him to completely enjoy this day without an awkward run in from an ex-girlfriend. She had just told her best friend that she was ready to go when he suddenly approached them. He hugged them both before he asked to speak to her one on one.

She hesitated. Though she felt like she was finally starting to let go of all of the _'what ifs'_ that had seemed to haunt her over the last few years, she wasn't sure if she was quite ready to face him on her own. When she opened her mouth to refuse, she found herself agreeing instead.

 _-The drought was the very worst, ah ah  
When the flowers that we'd grown together died of thirst-_

Their conversation didn't last long. He had a lot of duties to take care of before he whisked his new bride off to their honeymoon, but he had to speak to her.

He admitted that he missed her. He had missed her the moment they agreed to spend some time apart. He missed her even as he was speaking to her at that moment. He marveled at how much she had changed. Gone was the insecurity and awkwardness that initially made him fall for her. Instead, a confident woman sat before him. He told her that their friends had kept him informed about how she was doing, what she was doing, and every accomplishment in between.

As he spoke with her, it felt as if the weight she had carried around with her for the last several years had finally fallen off of her shoulders. _This._ This is what she missed the most. She was never able to just talk to someone the way she always had with him. He had been one of her best friends for so long, but after the breakup, she was so focused on recovering from the romantic aspects of their relationship that she failed to realize that the one thing she missed the most was just him—talking to him, encouraging him, inspiring him.

He told her that the new couple was moving back to the city. He had found a job there and his bride wanted to move closer to home.

After a fleeting moment of inward bitterness, she realized that it was the best news she could have heard. Maybe they could begin again? Keep the memories of the past, but start to build a real friendship again.

He seemed to have the same thoughts as she did. He grinned at her when she agreed to get coffee together the next week. His smiled widened further when she suggested that he and his wife come over to the bakery for a small reunion with all of their friends once everything settled down.

It was a first step.

 _-Rain came pouring down when I was drowning  
That's when I could finally breathe  
And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean-_

She left the wedding alone. She told her best friend that she just wanted to enjoy the walk home in the rain. Her friend thought she was crazy at first, but when she saw her smile—really smile—for the first time in weeks, she relented.

Maybe going to the wedding wasn't a bad idea?

Maybe they all could somehow come back together like when they were kids?

Maybe they all could be friends again?

 _-Rain came pouring down when I was drowning  
That's when I could finally breathe  
And by morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean-_

As she walked home, she revealed in the early summer rain that poured over her. She closed her eyes as she tilted her head back toward the heavens.

She felt happy.

She felt hopeful.

She felt free.

 _-Finally clean, think I'm finally clean, ah ah  
Think I'm finally clean-_


	6. Dancing On My Own

_**A/N: I've been wanting to do a one shot to this song for awhile, but the idea I initially had probably would have angered a decent portion of the Rucas fandom. Then Nat ( reytonbleyer ) did a beautiful cover to this song, and another idea immediately hit me. So, this little one shot is dedicated to her and to my birthday girl Augustė ( hopefulforus ).**_

 _ **College AU: Farkle never figured out that Riley was stepping back for Maya; therefore, Farkle never stepped in and made the NYE announcement.**_

* * *

"Dancing on My Own"

Song by: Calum Scott

Riley Matthews hissed as her fingers brushed against the hot curling iron. She quickly set the device down before she turned on her sink. As she ran her throbbing fingers through the cold water, she groaned in pain. "Good going, Riles," she mumbled as she examined her tender fingers.

She looked up at the mirror as she examined her appearance. She had about half of her hair left to curl and then she would be done. She had spent the better part of her day picking out the perfect dress to wear that evening. Part of her, a bigger part than she would ever admit, didn't want to go, but she knew that there would be no way out of it. Besides, it was one of her best friend's birthdays. She wasn't going to miss that for the world, even if it meant another backslide, another night spent staring at something she knew she could never have.

' _Because you lied in 8_ _th_ _grade, and never attempted to tell the truth.'_

' _You're my brother, Lucas,'_ she once told him. Those four words had haunted the brunette for the last seven years—nearly a third of her life. She thought that she was doing what was best for everyone. She and Lucas had their chance at a relationship, and it resulted in them not even being able to communicate with one another. She didn't want that. She never wanted that. He was one of her best friends, and she could never imagine her world without him in it.

At the same time, ever since that 8th grade proclamation, her world with him in it was slowly destroying her.

She was able to fool herself—for a while at least. She watched him spend New Year's with someone else while she sat alone on the rooftop of her parents' apartment building. She smiled as he and her best friend went on a handful of dates shortly thereafter. She had convinced herself that they were happy with one another, and that if they were happy, then she would somehow, someday, be able to move on from him.

In a flash, her best friend and her crush had parted ways—citing irreconcilable differences as the reason for their breakup. Riley was never sure if they were ever officially boyfriend and girlfriend in the first place. It was a little strange between the two after that—awkward—as Riley assumed most breakups would be, but as her group of friends entered high school, Lucas and Maya found a way to move on from their three-month pseudo relationship.

She could have come clean with everyone then, admit that her feelings for the Texan were never platonic and had always been something more than friendship, but she didn't. She never wanted to lose him. What she told him during their trip to Texas was true: she didn't want to date for a while and then break up and never talk again. Plus, he never really challenged her on her declaration—at least not after he began to date her best friend. And what about the whole girl code thing she learned about her first week in high school? Maya already dated him. Riley wasn't about to risk losing her best friend in order to admit her feelings for someone who might not feel the same way.

So, she kept up with the stupid charade. She treated him the same way she treated Farkle and Zay. The three of them became her older brothers, but instead of her romantic feelings for Lucas dwindling over time, they intensified. She thought that once they graduated high school that she could put some distance between them. She thought for sure that he would want to go to college back in Texas and that the distance would afford her the time to finally move on from him, but instead, he got accepted into Columbia while she and Maya decided to attend NYU.

Going to a different school did help the brunette. She was able to come up with excuses to explain away her absence whenever her friends all gathered together. Of course, she knew she couldn't always duck out, so she attended enough events so no one would really take notice when she was absent. She loved her friends and wanted to be around them, but she also didn't want anyone to know that she had been desperately in love with her good friend Lucas for over half a decade.

They both dated around. Riley was desperate to fill the void she had never quite gotten used to. She never found anyone she connected with. Most of her prospects only lasted a few dates. Lucas, on the other hand, seemed to bounce from relationship to relationship. Every time she saw him, he was dating some new girl. It got to the point where Riley and the rest of her friends couldn't even keep track with their names.

She thought that after a while, she would be used to it—used to seeing him laugh and smile and whisper to someone who wasn't her—but she wasn't. She never was. In fact, her jealously grew exponentially over the years—it was another reason why she remained distant.

But not tonight.

No. Tonight was Zay's 21st birthday, and they were all going out to celebrate.

 _/Somebody said you got a new friend  
Does she love you better than I can?  
There's a big black sky over my town  
I know where you're at, I bet she's around/_

Seven years and no one knew how the brunette felt about him—not even her best friend. Riley had grown accustomed to plastering that nauseating fake smile whenever she was in his presence. She was so good at it that no one in her world, who should have known better, ever suspected a thing.

Her counterfeit smile was splashed perfectly across her face as she and Maya entered the dimly lit club. Riley was grateful for the space—at least then she could stick to the shadows and not expend all of her energy by acting like her heart wasn't breaking all over again by the mere sight of him.

"I'm going to go ahead and get a round," Maya announced to the small group. "In honor of the birthday boy…we all need to drink until we can't remember our own names."

Zay grinned. "I like the sound of that, but what about," he gestured toward Riley.

"I'm covered," she smiled as she pulled out her fake ID. "Only going to need this bad boy for two more months." Her fake ID had served her well over the last three years. For the first two years, she only used them at clubs around the city, but over the last several months, she used it more at the grocery store when she would pick up her weekly wine stash. She never thought she would resort to alcohol to escape from reality, but it was the only thing that alleviated the pain in her chest at the sight—or quite often simply the thought—of him.

"That's right," Zay eagerly rubbed his hands together. "The Vegas trip is coming up. Are you excited?"

Riley watched as Maya and Farkle left to get a round of shots for the table. She slid into the vacant seat next to her friend. "Yeah. Of course. Aren't you? It's going to be amazing. Four days in Las Vegas and we'll all finally be 21."

"Baby Riley is finally growing up," he teased.

"Hey," she nudged playfully, "You only have two months on me." She glanced around the congested space. "So…is Lucas coming tonight?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. He's running a little late. Alicia had a wardrobe emergency or something."

Riley's face fell. Alicia. She hadn't heard that name before. "Alicia?"

"Yeah. Yeah…the newest conquest, I guess." He shrugged. "I don't know why I even bother to learn their names. I don't think he's ever had a relationship that's lasted more than two months."

"Serial monogamist, that one is," Riley sighed as she lightly drummed her fingers on the table. Another new conquest. While his relationships never lasted longer than a few months, Riley knew that one day, he'd find someone who would break that trend. As the years passed by, that fear only grew. She constantly thought about telling him how she felt, but what was the point? If he was ever interested in her, he never showed it. He could have asked her out during the last seven years, but he never did.

"Here we go," Zay proclaimed as Maya and Farkle returned with a handful of shots.

"He's still not here yet," Maya asked as she set one of the glasses in front of her best friend.

Riley shook her head.

"He better not do this in Vegas," Farkle told the group. "The plane isn't going to wait for him."

"Plane," an all too familiar voice asked from behind Riley.

The hair on the back of her neck stood up as soon as she heard his voice. The voice that haunted her, the voice that tormented her with a future that she knew she could never have. She wanted to be drunk by the time she saw him. She wanted to be in that sweet spot where seeing him wouldn't feel like a thousand knives stabbing her heart. She wanted to not care. She was tired of caring. She was tired of the fluttering feeling in her heart whenever she saw him. She was tired of the thud she felt whenever she saw the latest goddess on his arm.

She quickly decided that she couldn't handle this sober. She reached for the shot glass and quickly downed the contents.

"Riley!" Zay frowned. "We were all supposed to do the first one together!"

"Sorry," she apologized as she sat the shot glass down. "I thought you guys were taking it too," she lied. It was scary how good she was getting at this whole lying thing. She hated it. She longed for the days where her best friend could easily detect the falsities in her tone.

"Damn Riley," Maya's eyes widened. "You ok?"

She nodded. "Yep. Thought we all came to celebrate with the birthday boy? Why am I the only one drinking?" Deflection. She had also become a professional when it came to distracting her group of friends.

"But you hate shots," Maya tilted her head to the side as she examined the brunette. She seemed off—nervous perhaps? "I thought it would take a lot of convincing to get you to do this one."

She shook her head. "Nope. In fact, I'll get the next round." She slid out of her chair. As she turned around, she immediately bumped into him. God. Why hadn't he moved around to the other side of the table?

Lucas reached his arms out to steady the wobbly brunette. "You ok, Riles?"

She bit her bottom lip as she stared at the ground. Every time he touched her, no matter how innocent the gesture, a jolt of electricity shot through her. How was it possible that he didn't feel it too? Why was she the only one forced to walk through life completely and utterly in love with one of her best friends?

She slowly lifted her head. Those green eyes immediately entrapped her. She felt helpless as she, once again, found herself under the hypnotizing spell of them. "Yeah," she finally answered. "I'm ok."

Lucas smiled at her as he admired her outfit. "You look amazing."

"Thanks," she mumbled. "Um…sit down. I'll go get the next round."

"I'll come too," Maya said from behind the pair as she gulped down her shot.

"Oh, wait—before you go," he began as he turned to the brunette who stood next to him. "I want you to meet Alicia. Alicia, this is Riley and the blonde over there is Maya."

The brunette smiled as she offered her hand to Riley. "Nice to meet you, Riley. Lucas talks about you all the time."

' _He does?'_ Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear before she shook the other girl's hand. "Nice to meet you too, Alicia."

"Hi, I'm Maya," the blonde told the latest addition to Lucas's long line of girlfriends.

Riley reached for her clutch before she spun around and walked toward the bar, her best friend right behind her.

"Have a seat," Lucas told his girlfriend as he pulled out a stool for her. He looked at Farkle. "What plane were you talking about?"

 _/Yeah, I know it's stupid  
I just gotta see it for myself/_

"You know, it's crazy," Maya began as the girls waited for their drink order.

"What is?"

Maya smirked. "You don't see it?"

Riley frowned. "See what?"

The blonde gestured behind Riley to the table their friends were at. "Lucas…and his taste in women."

Riley turned around as she looked at his girlfriend. Brunette. Olive skin. Killer legs. Complete and utter perfection. "What about it?"

"Besides yours truly here…every girl he's ever brought around us…well," she chuckled, "they all look like you."

Riley raised an eyebrow as she slowly turned around to face Maya once more. "No, they don't. Look at me…and then look at her. She's like a supermodel, Maya. We look nothing alike."

"She might be taller than you, but same color hair, same color eyes, same adorable little nose," she practically cooed.

Riley rolled her eyes. "Just because one girl and I share a few attributes does not mean that she looks like me or even that he has a type."

"Maybe I ruined him for blondes," she smirked.

"Maybe that's it." She took a deep breath. "Maybe he's secretly been pining over you for the last seven years?"

Maya chuckled. "Oh please. If he's pining over anyone, it's definitely not me."

Riley sighed. "We're just friends, Maya."

"You know that I would be ok with it…more than ok actually…if you and he ever dated…right? I know girl code and all, but it was 8th grade and I'm pretty sure we were never boyfriend and girlfriend. God…we never even kissed. Not to mention the fact that you two technically dated first anyway, so if anyone broke girl code, it would've been me."

Riley couldn't hide the shock from her face. "You never kissed? I thought that…you must have…you were together for a few months."

Maya shrugged. "We were also in 8th grade. We didn't know what we were doing. I don't even think we really liked each other like that. I think we just did it because…well…" she sighed.

She couldn't stop there. Why did they date if they didn't even like one another? "Because of what?"

"Because it was what you wanted."

 _/I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh  
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh  
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo  
I keep dancing on my own  
I keep dancing on my own/_

Riley barely had time to sit the drinks down on the table before she felt his eyes on her. She slowly met his gaze. He seemed frustrated, mad, and maybe perhaps, a little sad?

"When were you going to tell me?"

She glanced around the table. What conversation did she miss? There were quite a few things she had kept from him over the years. She needed a little more information before she could come clean about anything. "Tell you what?"

He scoffed. "Tell me that you and everyone else was going to Vegas for your birthday in a few months."

She swallowed. She had hoped the trip wouldn't come up. She knew at some point he would find out, and that the guys would question her once they realized that Lucas wasn't going. She wasn't quite sure what she was thinking by leaving him out, but truthfully, she didn't want him there. It was too much. It was getting to be too hard to be around him for a few hours, let alone see him for four days straight. She knew he didn't deserve to be excluded like that, but what else was she supposed to do? "I-I was going to tell you," she lied.

"I don't believe you," he answered. Why would she leave him out? She was probably his best friend. He felt closer to her than with either of the guys. They did go to different colleges, and they hadn't seen one another a lot lately, but whenever he needed something or someone to turn to, she was always there.

"It's the truth," she lied again. "I haven't seen you in awhile…and we all kind of planned this at Maya's art show last month."

"A month?" He quickly stood up. "Really Riley?" He looked around the table. "You know you could have messaged me about it or…I don't know…call me? If you don't want me to go, all you had to do was say so. You don't have to play any kind of game with me." He paused. "We don't do that, remember? We're always honest with each other."

Riley looked away from him. She couldn't do this here and now. "We'll talk about it later. It's Zay's birthday now and we're here to celebrate him." She picked up one of the glasses. "Happy Birthday, Zay."

The entire group followed Riley's lead as they downed the shot. As soon as she set the glass down, she noticed that his mouth had opened to continue their conversation. She didn't want to hear it. She just wanted to have fun. She just wanted to escape from her feelings for one stupid night. She turned to Maya. "Let's go dance." She didn't wait for the blonde to respond before she grabbed her hand and led her to the dance floor.

Lucas watched the girls retreat to the middle of the dance floor before he turned to the guys. "What's going on?"

Zay shrugged. "No idea, man. You know girls. Can never figure them out."

He had a point. He had never been able to figure her out. From the moment they met, he thought there was something between them, but she made it clear a year later that they were friends—siblings to be more specific. She only saw him as an older brother type. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe she didn't want him to go to Vegas and keep an eye on her?

He turned to his girlfriend. "Do you want to go dance?"

The brunette smiled. "Absolutely."

 _/I'm just gonna dance all night  
I'm all messed up, I'm so out of line  
Stilettos and broken bottles  
I'm spinning around in circles/_

"Why don't you want Lucas to go to Vegas with us," Maya called out to Riley as they danced. They were only a foot apart, but the pounding bass beat forced the blonde to yell at the brunette.

Riley didn't answer as she bobbed her heat to the beat of the song. She had heard Maya clearly, but figured that if she pretended that she didn't, she wouldn't be forced to answer the question. She flipped her hair over her shoulder before she raised her arms over her head. She closed her eyes as she desperately tried to escape from the situation she found herself in. She needed to remind herself that she was there because she wanted to celebrate Zay's birthday. She wasn't there to drown in the quicksand of emotions she had kept to herself for this long. She could fall apart later.

Her eyes flew open when she felt Maya grab her hand and pull her close. Her brown eyes met crystal blue as the blonde glared at her. "What's going on?"

Riley's heart raced. She couldn't give in now. She had kept it quiet for so long that it was second nature to keep up the ruse, no matter who tip toed along the edge of discovering her secret. No one could know. If they did, he would eventually find out and then, whatever friendship remained between them would be ruined. She thought she could handle this. She thought that after some time, her feelings for him would disappear, but they hadn't. A few years ago, she began to suspect that maybe those feelings would never go away.

"Nothing," the brunette finally said.

Maya stared at her for a long moment before she reached for Riley's hand and guided her to the outside patio of the club so they could talk. Something wasn't right. Something hadn't been right for a long time. Riley had always waved it off as a result of whatever was currently going on in their lives—whether it was starting high school, going to college, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of her life—but Maya wasn't buying it anymore. She hadn't been herself in years, and while she had tried to justify it as a part of growing up, Maya wasn't so sure that was the case anymore.

Why couldn't Maya let this go? She didn't seem to have a problem with the flimsy excuses Riley gave her in the past. Why was it different now? Riley finally broke eye contact with the blonde as her eyes moved to the window. It was dark and dim inside the bar, but it didn't matter. She still saw them. She took an unsteady breath as she watched Lucas wrap his arms around his new girlfriend. She blinked several times as she fought against the wave of tears that threatened to betray the secret she had kept for so long. When he lowered his head to kiss the brunette, Riley clenched her jaw. She couldn't do this. Not here. Not now.

 _/I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh  
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh  
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo  
I keep dancing on my own  
I keep dancing on my own/_

Riley was so spellbound by the sight before her that she didn't realize that Maya's eyes had never left hers. She didn't notice that Maya had slowly turned around to try to figure out what had captivated the brunette's attention. She didn't hear Maya comment about how disgusting public displays of affection were. She didn't see Maya turn back to her and study her face for a solid minute.

Riley was so transfixed by the image in front of her that she failed to do the one thing she promised she wouldn't: react.

As the first tear slid down the brunette's cheek, Maya's eyes widened. "Riles," she cleared her throat. "How long?"

Riley blinked several times as she heard her name. She finally tore her eyes away from the couple as she slowly turned to her best friend. What were they talking about?

Maya waited a beat before she wiped away the solitary tear that had nestled against Riley's cheek. "How long," she repeated.

As Maya wiped away her tear, Riley realized that her body had finally betrayed her. She had to think of something, another lie, another way to remain lost in the shadows as she desperately tried to move on from a nearly decade long crush, but she didn't know how to do that anymore. "How long what?" It was the best response she could think of. Maybe it could buy her another minute to come up with something.

"How long have you been in love with Lucas?" When Riley opened her mouth, Maya shook her head. "Don't lie to me, Riles. I saw you. I see the way you look at him." She looked at the ground. "I guess I became used to it because you always looked at him like that, but something clicked when I saw that tear." She reached for Riley's hand as she silently begged her best friend to talk to her. "Riley, how long?"

Riley stared at Maya for a long time. She had tried everything she could think of to stop caring about him—to stop loving him. Maybe it was time to tell someone? Maybe it was time to put it out there in the universe? Maybe that was the key to moving on? She trusted Maya more than anyone else in the world. If she was going to bare her soul to anyone about her unresolved feelings for the Texan, she would confess them to Maya.

Tears filled Riley's eyes as she simply shrugged. "I don't know," she answered honestly. "I don't know when my infatuation turned into a crush turned into me liking him turned into me loving him." She swallowed. "I…I love him, Maya." As soon as the words left her mouth, seven years of denial quickly melted away. "I can't make it stop. Tell me. How do I make it stop?"

As she watched desperation rapidly overwhelm the brunette, Maya felt her nose burn as tears filled her eyes. "You can't," she answered softly. "How long have you tried to fight it?"

Riley's eyes fell to the ground.

Maya took a shaky breath. "Riles?"

"I saw you…a-and him. I saw that you liked him and that…that maybe he liked you too."

The frown line between Maya's eyebrows deepened as she listened to Riley's confession. "All this time?" When Riley nodded helplessly, Maya's heart shattered. "Riles." The blonde pulled the quaking brunette into her arms. "Why didn't you say anything? Why didn't you tell me? We tell each other everything. We would have…we would have figured it out."

"What's the point," she mumbled into the blonde's hair. "It wouldn't have worked out." She slowly pulled back from her friend as she wiped her eyes.

"What do you mean it wouldn't have worked out?"

Riley tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "I mean…you two barely dated."

"Yeah…and we're friends now. What's your point?"

"Besides you, he's my best friend. I can't…if I told him…and he didn't feel the same way…then it could ruin our friendship. A-And on the other hand, what if I told him…and for some strange reason he did feel the same way…what then?" She sniffed. "We were in 8th grade. It wouldn't have worked out. That almost never happens," she paused, "unless you're Cory and Topanga."

"What about now, Riley? We aren't in middle school anymore. We're in college. College relationships can—and do—work out sometimes."

"Because…he seemed ok with it. He seemed fine with just being friends…and that's what we've been for so long now. I'm…I'm firmly in the friend zone." She looked inside once more. "Besides, have you seen the girls he's dated? They're all…stunning."

"No," Maya shook her head. " _You're_ stunning."

"I'm a wreck." She looked down. "If he was ever interested, don't you think he would have asked me out?"

"Maybe he thinks you aren't interested?"

Riley shook her head. "Doesn't matter now, does it? He's with Alicia…and he seems happy with her."

"You need to tell him, Riley." She paused. "We don't lie to each other."

Riley gave her a sad smile. "I can't tell him. I might lose him, Maya…and I'd rather have him in my life as my friend than as nothing at all."

"Riley, you've been pushing him for the last few years. What kind of friendship is that? He's not even invited to your birthday."

"Yes he is."

Maya raised an eyebrow at her. "Didn't seem like it to me."

Riley frowned as she wiped her eyes one last time. "Fine. I'll go invite him right now. And afterward, we are getting another round of drinks and we are never talking about this again. I mean it, Maya. I need to figure this out without getting anyone else involved."

 _/So far away but still so near  
The lights go on, the music dies  
But you don't see me standing here  
I just came to say goodbye/_

She stormed back into the club, as a renewed sense of determination overshadowed every other instinct she had to fall apart at the mere sight of him. They were all back at their table. As she approached them, she heard them all laugh as if they didn't have a care in the world. She wanted that. She wanted to not care. "Lucas?"

He turned toward her. "Yeah?"

"Would you like to come to Vegas with us to celebrate my birthday in a few weeks?"

"Riley, I don't want to go if you don't want me—"

"I want you to," she told him evenly. "Ok?"

The entire table turned to look at Lucas as they waited for his answer. "Ok."

She released a breath she didn't realize that she was holding. "Good." She forced herself to smile—that same strained smile she had learned to master over the last seven years. The smile she loathed—the smile that made her stomach churn. "Now that that is all settled…does everyone want another round?"

She didn't wait for the group to answer as she spun around and headed back toward the bar. Did she really just ask him to come to Vegas? Was she out of her mind?

As Lucas watched her walk away, his chest constricted. He glanced at his girlfriend. "I'll be back, Alicia. She may need some help with carrying everything." He didn't wait for her to respond before he jogged after Riley.

 _/I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh  
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo  
I keep dancing on my own  
I keep dancing on my own/_

She was already ordering the round by the time he reached her. He remained silent while she smiled at the bartender. He thought he was going to be sick at the sight of it. She didn't have to flirt with anyone in order to get some drinks. Farkle did a bang up job on their fake IDs, and they never carded you once you were allowed into the club. He knew that he had no say in how she acted around people, but it always made his skin crawl to see her do it.

"Riley?"

She spun around at the sound of his voice. Her smile slowly fell as her eyes landed on his. He followed her? She thought that everything had gotten settled. Why did he follow her?

"I thought you might need some help…you know…with carrying everything."

She slowly nodded. "Sure. Thanks."

"So, how have you been? Haven't seen much of you lately."

"Oh. You know. Just busy with school and everything," she casually responded as if she hadn't practiced that exact answer in the mirror about a hundred times while she was getting ready. "This is my first time off campus on awhile."

"I'll come to you then," he offered. "When's the next film series? I remember we went to most of them freshman year." He smiled. "Remember 'Breakfast at Tiffany's'?"

She slowly smiled as the memories of their first college film screening came back to her. "Yeah. We got all dressed up as Audrey Hepburn and George Peppard. We thought we were being so original."

"Only 90% of the people there had the same idea." He grinned. That was an incredible night, but truthfully, he had a lot of incredible nights with her.

Riley laughed. "I can't believe you sat through the first half hour of it next to some other Holly Golightly."

Lucas smiled sheepishly as he rubbed the back of his neck. "I had that plastic dog mask on. I couldn't see anything."

"Sure. Sure. At least I know how to dress whenever I need to hide from you." It just slipped out. She didn't mean anything by it, but as the thought sunk in, she suddenly longed for that black dress and sunglasses.

His smile slowly faded. "You never need to hide from me, Riles."

She nearly buckled under the intensity of his stare. If he only knew how wrong he was. She had to hide from him. There was no option. It was called self-preservation. "I don't?"

He frowned. "No. It's me we're talking about here. Me and you. There's nothing you could ever do to not make me want to be around you."

' _I love you,'_ her mind screamed. _'If I told you the truth, I bet you'd want me to hide from you then.'_

When she didn't answer him, his heart dropped. "Are you…hiding from me?"

 _/I'm in the corner, watching you kiss her, ohh  
I'm right over here, why can't you see me, ohh  
I'm giving it my all, but I'm not the girl you're taking home, ooo  
I keep dancing on my own  
I keep dancing on my own/_

Riley shook her head. The simply motion was a lot easier than opening her mouth and feeding him another lie. "What makes you say that?"

"Oh, I don't know. The fact that I haven't seen you in a few months, and I honestly can't remember the last time we hung out alone." He paused when the bartender brought a tray of shots to Riley.

"Thank you," she smiled.

"Anytime, Rachel," the bartender winked at her. "There's an extra one there for you too."

"Thanks Brian," she practically purred.

Lucas turned his head away. He thought he was going to be sick. Once the Brian the bartender left, he continued. "Rachel?"

"That's what it says on my ID," she smiled forcefully as she looked down at the seven shots in front of her. "Are you going to help me with this or just watch?"

He sighed. "Promise me one thing."

"What?"

He waited for her to look at him, to give him any indication that she knew that what he was about to say was important, but she didn't. She simply stared at the glasses in front of her. "Promise me that no matter what happens…no matter where we go…who we meet…that we're always going to be Riley and Lucas."

She bit her bottom lip. At the end of the day, that was all she wanted. It was why she kept quiet for so long about how she felt about him. It was why she wasn't about to take Maya's advice and tell him. He wanted them to stay as they were. She did too. She needed to get him out of her heart. It was the only way to ensure his presence in her life for the long run. "Of course," she answered as she turned to look at him. "We will always be Riley and Lucas." She gave him a small smile before she picked up half of the shots and walked away from the bar.

Lucas took a deep breath as he watched her leave. Everyone always wondered why he wasn't able to stay in a relationship for more than a few months. The answer was simple and obvious, at least to him. It was because his heart had always belonged to someone else. He was simply trying to survive—to find a way to move on from loving someone who only saw him as a brother.

Seven years since she first broke his heart and here he stood—more in love with her than ever.

 _/I keep dancing on my own/_


End file.
